What Motivates You?


I see the Monday motivation hashtag a lot. Not much works to motivate me when I see those posts. Yeah, they are all great and stuff. Congrats to you! But they don't motivate me. They make me resent you. Hey, I'm just being honest. Those are just my own insecurities and fears that I'm working through.What motivates me are my own goals. Knowing that I'm going to be in a bathing suit in 10 weeks is motivating. Knowing that I will be a bridesmaid in my brother's wedding motivates me.

With these events coming up, I've started a 'let's get my butt in shape' movement. I leave for my family's beach trip in 9 weeks and 5 days. I'm still doing Weight Watchers. I decided to stop going to the meetings and just do the online program. I thought it would take some of the pressure off of myself. Plus, I started to feel resentful towards the other people. There would be all these people at the meeting getting bravo stickers for losing whatever it is they lost. Then there's me, just sitting there...the same weight or a little bit more. So, we'll see. I've been 'on my own' for 3 weeks now and I'm still hovering around 153/154. Here are my measurements from yesterday:

My goal weight with Weight Watchers is 140 pounds. I'd LOVE to hit that by the beach, but that's 14 pounds in 9 weeks and for me that's kind of unrealistic. I'm going to aim for a 1 pound loss a week. I'm posting food/meals on Instagram (follow me here). I have a tendency to dive into my meal and then remember to take a picture. I just started doing this today, so I've got breakfast, lunch and a snack up on the IG. 

I'm not a genius when it comes to weight loss or food. I have my struggles and I'm learning as I go. I know that WW works. I've lost 17 pounds. I can hit my goal weight. I know I can!


Addicted

I haven't posted here in over a year. I've wanted to. I've had ideas about what to write. I just haven't had that 'oomph' to get me writing. Until now.

I've talked openly on here about my weight loss journey, troubles with food, and my life in general. I joined Weight Watchers back in June. I got laid off from my job at the end of July. Put those two together and I lost a total of 17.4 pounds. I started at 170.4, which is the heaviest I've ever been. After I got laid off I lost 13 pounds and ever since I've been pretty much wavering around 151-153lbs.


In January I had decided to add a Whole 30 into the mix. I thought it would help get rid of the 'sugar dragon' that takes over so much of my life. Diet Coke, cookies, reese's cups, m&m's.... So much sugar! It's quite clear I'm addicted to sugar. Ugh! Why!?!?!? I was born with an addictive personality, so I'm basically just screwed anyways!

The last 6 months or so was tough. I'd never been let go from a job before and I felt like a failure. Luckily I found a job to hold me over until something long term came around.  I found a wonderful job and life is probably the best it's ever been for me. I am in a great relationship with a man I met in the fall. We are coming up on 6 months and talking about moving in together and ring shopping! My brother just got engaged. Life is great!

If life is so great, then what is my problem? Why am I still floundering about getting healthy? I'm great at making a meal plan and meal prepping, but then I fall through. I fall through, because something else catches my eye and sounds better than a salad or chicken.

I wanted to start writing again and get this out there. I know I'm not the only one going through this. Everyone has their own journey and their own struggles. Maybe just writing about it will help.