January 26, 2017

To Be Found





I opened my emails today and read my daily inspiration. Boy, did it hit home -

As adult children, we are good - no, ingenious - at finding hiding places. Sometimes we hide behind our work by staying super busy. We hide in prayer itself - behind sweet-sounding words. We can choose to always be tired so we can hide in sleep. We can hide behind any of the "helper" roles by fixing others so we never have to fix ourselves. We can even make our life a hiding place by going through the emotions, saying all the right things, but never really encountering ourselves.

If we want to be found, we have to come out where somebody can find us.

I will identify my hiding places and make conscious decisions about choosing them or not.
(from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty)

The sleep part is what really struck me. I'm a professional napper. I gave myself that title :) I took yesterday off of work to take my Helena to the veterinarian. Her appointment was at 11am.  I got up at a normal work day time (6:30am) and had breakfast and watched the news. Around 9:25am I decided to take a cat nap with my cats. I slept for an hour and then took Helena to the vet.  Once we returned I ate lunch, watched the latest episode of This Is Us and then I took another nap.

I have a list of things I want to do. Start my new Bible Study, work on some step-work, read a novel... If I wasn't napping all the time I could probably accomplish something.  Am I hiding behind sleep to procrastinate? I tell myself that I need the sleep and that a day off is good for napping. But what is really going on in my subconscious?  This is something I think I really need to look at and work on.

Do you find yourself hiding?