June 25, 2015

Facebook is My Nemesis

Google defines the term ‘nemesis’ as the inescapable agent of someone’s or something’s downfall. In Greek Mythology Nemesis is the Goddess of Retribution, Punishment, Vengeance and Fate; often referred to as one’s worst foe or bitter enemy and the dispenser of dues. Well, that’s how I feel about Facebook. I know, I know, it’s a bit dramatic.
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I officially joined Facebook in 2006 when I moved to Los Angeles and at the time it was a way for me to stay in touch with people back on the east coast.  There was a time when I had hundreds of Facebook friends. It was great to see what was going on in everyone’s lives.  Sometimes, though, it made people feel even further away.  As it turns out, not even Facebook can help you keep in touch with people. 

It got to a point where I would take a look at my ‘friends’ and realize that I don’t talk to a good amount of them in real life. When I say ‘real life’ I mean talking to them on the phone, texting, emailing, or even visiting them when I went back east (or them not reaching out when they were in LA). I began to delete some people and I would get the “Did you delete me? Why would you delete me?” comments from those ‘friends.’
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Almost ten years later I still find myself feeling the same way about Facebook. A lot has changed in my life over the last couple of years and when I left northern Virginia I decided to give myself a clean slate. That included unfriending some people on Facebook. My four years up there were a bit rough and I just wanted to start over. I shouldn't have to apologize for that. It's my life and my business.
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I feel like so many people depend on Facebook as their main form of communicating and I really didn’t want that for myself anymore. Being 'friends' on Facebook doesn't mean you're actually friends with someone. If you and I do not have any interaction apart from Facebook, what are we doing? What is the point? 
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I would say that, not including family members, I have about five really close friends. I’m totally happy to be someone that has a few really good friends versus a couple hundred friends that don’t really know me. I have a good friend up in northern VA that I still keep in regular contact with via email and text. We toss little emails back and forth several times a week. I'll actually get to see her in July when I'm up there for the Taylor Swift concert.  A good friend of mine here at home is married with two kids and totally has her hands full, but we see each other at least twice a month. We make time for each other.

There are a few ladies I’ve met through the blogging world that don’t live anywhere near me (Northern Virginia, Maryland & Tennessee), but we make a point to stay in touch with email and texting and we are actually all making plans to visit each other! I also have some friends in England that I met through Twitter and we mail letters to each other. Actual mail! Can you believe it? If I ever make it to England I would definitely call those ladies up!
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I'm not saying down with Facebook. If you love it, that's awesome! It's just not for me anymore. I don't want to leave my relationships up to Facebook.  I think we take for granted the time we have in this world and I don't want to do that.  Let's not leave our friendships & relationships up to Facebook anymore. Let's make plans, call each other, write a letter.  Let's stay in touch, for real this time!



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