My Adventures in Online Dating

I mentioned in this post that I was currently on the OkCupid dating site.

I have been on this site before; back when I lived in Los Angeles. Back then I went out on two dates from OkCupid.  The first guy showed up 30 minutes late.  I was actually just about to leave when he walked in the door.  He thought he was so smooth throughout the entire date and even tried to kiss me at the end.  What date was he on?  The second guy was super nice, but looked nothing like his pictures, plus there just wasn't any chemistry.  They can't all be winners.

I've been on OkCupid again for about a month now and have messaged back and forth a few different guys. I've updated my profile a few times already along with my pictures.  The thing I like about online dating is that I can be picky without being judged.  Although, I got a really judgmental message from a guy wanting to know why people in this area were so against interracial dating.  Anyways, there are certain things that I prefer in a man that others would find judgmental.  But let's be honest...aren't we all judgmental to a point? Sure you can have these opinions, but with the right guy, none of it actually matters!

The one thing that does stay constant on my profile is the "My Details" section.  I like to make sure everything is filled out.  It's a good way for people to get a quick idea about you.  You can get a decent idea about someone just by their details.  Height (I like a guy to be taller than me..I enjoy wearing 3 inch heels), how often they drink, if they smoke or do drugs, their religious beliefs, etc.


Something else that I like about OkCupid is the "Questions" section.

(From my Phone App)

There are hundreds of questions.  I myself have answered 350 questions.  When you are viewing someone's profile you can only see questions that both of you have answered.  Some of the questions I have found to be extremely inappropriate and have chosen not to answer.  For instance:

Are you fetish friendly?
Would you rather...be tied up during sex, do the tying, or avoid bondage all together?
Would you ever consider cutting a partner (who asked for it) during sexual play?

I mean really???? Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I write this I have met one guy from OkCupid in person.  He's very attractive, has a college degree, has a good job, seems to be a gentleman, and we had good conversation the first time we met.  We've hung out a couple times, but I'm starting to wonder about this guy.  So, I turned to the "Questions" and actually learned a few things that I hadn't picked up on before.

#1 How important is religion/God in your life?
Erica: Somewhat important
Him: Not very important
The reason for my answer is because I do not currently belong to a congregation.  I was raised in the Catholic church and would like to raise my children the same way and yes, I would like to marry a fellow Catholic.

#2 Do you believe in God?
Erica: Yes
Him: Yes
This was his comment: "I believe in something, but not sure what that is.  I don't claim any religion since all of them are not without their flaws.  I'm a firm believer that religious beliefs don't make a person better, it's their behavior that does."
I will agree with the last part of his comment, but does the first part make him an agnostic?  In my last committed relationship, with Dudley, we broke up because of God & Church (there were other things...he was lazy, had no motivation, was a couch potato).  We both believed in God, but he didn't believe in church because it is man made. Dudley said he would never go to church and had no intention of taking his future children to church.  Deal breaker for me!

#3 When men show extra courtesy toward women (opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc), this is:
Erica: Admirable and desirable.  Chivalry's not dead.
Him: Unnecessary but appreciated.
Well, he stands by his statement, because he never once opened a door for me in the few times I've seen him.  He did, however, pay for my drinks on the first date.

The thing about OkCupid that people need to watch out for is that it's a free dating site.  With that in mind, some people might be on there to find hook ups or a more "casual" relationship.  I have a disclaimer on my profile: 

Granted, I went out on a few dates with a guy from Match.com (you pay for that one) a few years ago that said being on Match.com was "no different than meeting a girl at a bar."  I found this out on the 3rd time we went out.  It's totally different!  You never really know until you meet the guy.  Honestly, I'm on OkCupid right now because I can't afford EHarmony.  That's the site I really wanted to join, but I figured I'd give this one a shot and see what happens.

I have a new rule for myself with this guy.  I'm not going to initiate with him anymore. Let him come to me! I am gong to take my own advice here.  If this guys wants to date me properly, then he will.  If he doesn't and is only looking for something casual and "hanging out," then we are not right for each other. 

*I'll keep you posted*